WRITTEN BY DR. MIRELLA DE CIVITA
🔊 LISTEN TO THIS “QUICK TAKE” ARTICLE ⇧⇧⇧
In a world that never stops demanding our attention, our ability to focus on what truly matters is one of our most valuable yet underutilized resources (Brown, 2022). Every day we are bombarded with information, responsibilities, and expectations, pulling us in countless directions. But what if the key to personal fulfillment and integrity lies in something as simple—and as challenging—as paying attention?
Integrity isn’t just about honesty; it’s about alignment between who we are and who we want to be. That alignment requires presence. Often, we are stuck in the past, reliving mistakes, or consumed by anxieties about the future. But true integrity asks us to live in the here and now, making conscious choices that reflect our deepest values.
Training our attention isn’t about meditation alone—though it can certainly help. It’s about intentionally directing our focus toward the present moment, observing our thoughts without being controlled by them. When we do this, we gain clarity. We begin to see ourselves and others more fully, beyond surface-level judgments (Stuntzner, 2015). We recognize that people—including ourselves—are more than their worst decisions. We acknowledge that every moment is an opportunity to choose kindness, growth, and self-acceptance.
Think of attention as a finite resource, like water or energy. The more deliberately we use it, the more valuable it becomes (Cziksentmihalyi, 1990). By practicing focused attention, we strengthen our ability to engage meaningfully with the world. We stop reacting impulsively and start responding with intention (Baumeister & Tierney, 2012).
So, where do we begin? Start by noticing. Notice your thoughts, but don’t get lost in them. Notice the people around you—not just their actions but their struggles, their stories. Notice yourself—not just your achievements or failures, but the person you are becoming.
When you commit to this practice, you step into a life of greater integrity—one where your choices align with your values, where kindness replaces judgment, and where the present moment becomes a place of power rather than uncertainty.
References:
Baumeister, R. F., & Tierney, J. (2012). Willpower: Rediscovering the greatest human strength. Penguin.
Brown, B. (2022). The gifts of imperfection: Let go of who you think you’re supposed to be and embrace who you are. Simon and Schuster.
Cziksentmihalyi, M. Flow–the psychology of optimal experience. 1990.
Stuntzner, S. (2015). Self-compassion: Stop beating yourself up and leave insecurity behind By: Dr. Kristen Neff.
